Here I’m going to try to record interesting jokes, quotes, and stories I hear.

__”You should never read just for ‘enjoyment.’ Read to make yourself smarter! Less judgmental. More apt to understand your friends’ insane behavior, or better yet, your own. Pick ‘hard books.’ Ones you have to concentrate on while reading. And for god’s sake, don’t let me ever hear you say, ‘I can’t read fiction. I only have time for the truth.’ Fiction is the truth, fool! Ever hear of ‘literature’? That means fiction, too, stupid.” /John Walters in Role Models/

__ “Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.” /Thomas Edison

__”We have a problem.” “Congratulations.” “But it’s a tough problem.” “Then double congratulations.”” /W. Clement Stone

__”You never know what is enough unless you know what is more than enough.” /William Blake

__”My mother said to me, “If you become a soldier you’ll be a general; if you become a monk you’ll end up as the pope.” Instead, I became a painter and  wound up as Picasso.” /Pablo Picasso

__Heard this from a friend. “A defense attorney was trying to get his client off and so told the jury that his client was innocent and that the real perpetrator would walk through the court doors in two minutes. The lawyer sat down and waited. No one walked through the door. The lawyer stood up and said, “Of course no one came through that door. This isn’t hollywood and ordinary life isn’t filled with dramatic entrances like that. But you all looked at the door. That shows that you have reasonable doubt about my client’s guilt and so you must judge him to be innocent. The jury went to deliberate and came back and unanimously declared the defendant to be guilty. The lawyer later asked them why they had decided so quickly that his client was guilty. The juror responded “yes, we looked at the door, and the judge looked at the door, and the bailiff looked at the door, and you looked at the door, but YOUR CLIENT didn’t look at the door.” ”

__”Ideally, politicians and soldiers do what they have to do here and now, and intellectuals from their distant perspective denounce them when what they do is wrong. Intellectuals can’t prevent politicians and soldiers ‘from filling all history with the noise of their hatred and their slaughters,’ but they can prevent them ‘from thinking themselves great men as they carry out these activities.’ This is what the survival of civilization requires: not that evil is forbidden or forgone but that it is known to be evil, so that even when morality is violated, ‘moral notions remain intact.’
“False intellectuals… locate themselves within the real world; they share in its passions; and they invest those passions with the authority of mind and spirit. They moralize politics, not in the sense of making it moral but rather in the sense in which we speak of someone rationalizing his actions or his interests, that is, justifying them with a show of reason. So false intellectuals lend to politics the aura of morality and teach politicians not so much to do evil (for the necessity of that they understand well enough) as to think it good. And then the evil they do is so much worse, for it is entered into with enthusiasm and pursued systematically-pursued with a clear conscience, without the doubts, hesitations, and sleepless nights that are the only useful contributions that intellectuals make to the men and women who inhabit the realm of the real.”

— Michael Walzer, describing the views of Julian Benda in The Company of Critics
Anton Chekov said that H.M. Stanley’s “stubborn invincible striving towards a certain goal, no matter what the privations, dangers, and temptations for personal happiness” personified “the highest moral strength.”  (Willpower pg. 145)
__James Q. Wilson, political science legend, said, when asked how he succeeded as a conservative in liberal academia, that his advice was, “Be twice as productive and four times as nice as your colleagues.”
__This story about a former Gawker blogger is crazy good. There are similarities between it and my own life.
__ Do you want to split that? (a friend asked another friend about ordering some appetizer). The other person’s response: “Sure, I’ll split two of them with you.”
__  The Marquis de Condorcet said that being a public intellectual involves “the tracking down of prejudices in the hiding places where priests, the schools, the government, and all long-established institutions had gathered and protected them.”
__ Proofread carefully to see if you any words out. — Author Unknown
__ Russell on the failure of Frege’s life project “As I think about acts of integrity and grace, I realise that there is nothing in my knowledge to compare with Frege’s dedication to truth. His entire life’s work was on the verge of completion, much of his work had been ignored to the benefit of men infinitely less capable, his second volume was about to be published, and upon finding that his fundamental assumption was in error, he responded with intellectual pleasure clearly submerging any feelings of personal disappointment. It was almost superhuman and a telling indication of that of which men are capable if their dedication is to creative work and knowledge instead of cruder efforts to dominate and be known.”Russell in Heijenoort, Jean van. From Frege to Gödel: A Source Book in Mathematical Logic: 1879-1931. Cambridge, MA: Harvard UP, 1967.
__ “Don’t aim at success — the more you aim at it and make it a target, the more you are going to miss it. For success, like happiness, cannot be pursued; it must ensue, and it only does so as the unintended side-effect of one’s dedication to a cause greater than oneself or as the by-product of one’s surrender to a person other than oneself. Happiness must happen and the same holds for success: you have to let it happen by not caring about it.” Victor Frankl, Man’s Search For Meaning. Echoing John Stewart Mill and Leslie Farber about the self-defeating nature of searching out happiness.
__ Seen inscribed on a bathroom stall.
Things I hate
1. vandalism
2. irony
3. lists
__”I am invincible as long as I’m alive.” — John Mayer (yea, i was surprised too)
__”When I was a boy of fourteen, my father was so ignorant I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be twenty-one, I was astonished at how much he had learned in seven years.” — Mark Twain (supposedly, it seems every Twain quote is apocryphal)
__”My musical star map is richer for my having identified a new constellation; reexamining it, I rethink the very universe.” this article


“It is given to the artist to form one thing out of many or to shape a world
from the smallest part of one thing. There are hands in Rodin’s work: small
independent hands which live without belonging to any body. Hands which
leap up, irritated and spiteful; hand whose five bristling fingers seem to
bellow like the five throats of a hellhound. Hands that walk, sleeping hands,
and hands that awaken. Criminal hands, cursed with heredity, and those that
are tired, that no longer want anything, that have laid themselves down in a
corner like sick animals who know that no one can help them. But hands are
already a rather complicated organism, a delta into which much life has flowed
from distant origins to bathe in the great stream of action. There is a history
of hands; they have, indeed , their own culture and their particular beauty,
and one must concede to them the right to their own evolution, their own
wishes, feelings, moods, and romances.” (R.M. Rilke, 1979, pp.3537).
“When I was younger I thought that copes were legally allowed to commit crimes and get away with it and then I got older and found out that wasn’t true and then I got even older and found it was” — tweet I saw

0 Responses to “My Favorite Quotes and Stories”

  1. Leave a Comment

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


%d bloggers like this: